Long, But Enjoyable Roadie

Yesterday, we got on the bus at 3 in the afternoon to leave San Diego. We didn't get back to Boise until 12:30 this afternoon. That's a long time to spend on a bus. About 20 hours, in fact. And, yes, I can still add after being out of school for this long, thank you very much. We had a 3 hour delay somewhere in the middle of Nevada at 3 in the morning when one of the tires on the bus went flat. It was a drag because it just meant more time spent on the cramped bus. It's always hard for someone my size to find a comfortable sleeping position on a bus, which is why I've used today as a good, old lazy day to rest up, stretch out, and relax.

But after all the uncomfortableness, the legs falling asleep, and the bad smells that 25 guys on a bus together for 20 hours will undoubtedly bring, I can still say that it's all worth it. Road trips are fun. A lot of people might think I'm crazy to glorify a 20 hour bus ride, but I find myself looking forward to the road trips nowadays. Even though this one was a little less enjoyable than those in the past because the team was recovering from a stomach flu that probably half the team caught, it was still enjoyable. We watch movies and just bond as a team on these road trips, and that's what makes them so much fun. We watched Paranormal Activity 2 and Machete. (I didn't watch Machete too carefully because I figured reading my book would be a better use of my time. Turns out, I was right because Machete might possibly be the worst movie of all time. Who woulda thunk it with stars like Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, and Lindsay Lohan--wait, Lindsay Lohan...seriously?--in it? At one point in the movie, I saw Machete swing from a window with someone's small intestine, and that only served to reinforce the fact that reading my book was a more constructive use of my time.)

The road trips are definitely a lot of fun, but I think we'd all agree we would rather play at home, which is why it's great that we clinched home ice for the playoffs. But, like I said yesterday, now a new season starts. And we have to take advantage of the position we've put ourselves in with home ice advantage in the first two rounds of playoffs. No one's going to roll over for us just because we're playing on our home ice. I'm excited for this week, and to see what the rest of the season holds for me, individually, and us as a team. It's going to be fun.

We finished the weekend 3-0. We won 7-1, 6-1, and 7-2. I played the last two games and I think I played really well. I might be saying this a lot, but I feel like I am getting better every game. Before the game on Saturday, Coach told me to play assertively and that I shouldn't play to not make mistakes. I think I did that. I feel like I played very well in both games, and I'm excited because I'm starting to play my best when it matters most. After the game, we had a talk about how the real season starts now. Everything we've done before playoffs doesn't matter because a new season starts next weekend, and any team can win on any night. I might be writing in cliches right now, but I'm so excited about how much confidence I've gained in the past few weeks.

Have a Fearless Mind

I didn't play last night, but we won 7-1. We are resting players before the playoffs, and it was my turn to sit last night. I got a little stomach flu last night, so I'm actually happy I wasn't playing. I don't know if it was from something I ate or just being on a bus for 18 hours over the past 3 days. I'm ready to go tonight, though. I want to play fearlessly and have fun. I want to be a warrior, like we talked about as a team last week. Even though the games this weekend are pointless in terms of the standings, they are important in terms of us getting ready for playoffs. We can't flip a switch and play better all of a sudden. We're playing the same team next weekend up in Boise for playoffs, so it's important that we play our best hockey this weekend and send a message.

We just finished our second practice in Ogden. I had a much better practice. Still a little rough around the edges, but I can feel how much better I'm getting every day. I'm getting so much better on 2-on-1's, and 1-on-1's. Today we did a 1-on-1 drill that I and my coaches have been using to judge how much I'm improving. I feel really comfortable with my gap control and footwork, which has gotten so much better in the past two months, but I still make amateur mistakes sometimes that cause me to get beat, like crossing my feet or swinging my stick and missing a poke check. But I think when I figure those things out, no one will be able to beat me. Sometimes I do it perfectly and other times I get beat with a stupid mistake, which is frustrating.

After one time in the 1-on-1 drill, I played the man perfectly and got the puck away from the forward, but didn't get to the puck and out of the zone as fast as I could. Coach came up to me and asked if that was the hardest I could skate out of the zone. I said no. He told me that I need to battle to get the puck out of the zone like I would in a game. He said that's a lazy play that Tier 3 players make. He said I'm not a Tier 3 player. The next time I went on the drill, I played it perfectly with my gap and I focused on taking the body, not the puck. And once I got the puck, I skated as hard as I could out. Coach came up to me after and told me that I played it perfectly and that I need to have that kind of grit and mental determination every time.

Back On the Road

We left for San Diego, California today. And tonight we are staying the night in Ogden, Utah. We practiced tonight at the rink where the curling events for the 2002 Olympics took place. I don't think I had a great practice, but I think I might've still had bus legs from the 6 hour ride, and we practiced at an unusual time (right after dinner), so knowing me and my eating habits, you can probably guess that I ate too much and felt full the whole practice. Still, I can tell that I'm getting a lot better in certain areas of my game. My stick is more active than it has been all year, I'm getting better with my quickness and footwork, and I think the game in general is just slowing down for me. I can remember at the beginning of this year, I was a little overwhelmed with the change in speed of the game, but now, my gap is getting better and I'm just sticking with the speed of play much better. I know I still have a lot to work on in almost every aspect of my game; I'm trying to get better every day, though. Tomorrow, we have another practice in the morning, and then we are heading out for Las Vegas for a night, and then we're going to San Diego on Friday morning. It's definitely nice to split up this 20 hour bus ride.

Things Might Get Hairy

So I've been getting a lot of crap lately about my hair. It might be well deserved. It's getting long. And it gets a little messy too, especially when it's windy outside, or when I don't have a comb, which is never. My coach told me the other day that it might be the worst haircut he's seen in a long time. But why cut it now? These hairs have been with me since the beginning of the season, and playoffs are coming up. They've been with me in Bismarck, New Mexico, Boise, and everywhere in between. It's a symbol; a symbol of the season I've had. It's all over the place, but always in control, just like me this season. And I'm not gonna lie: I like it no matter how many people don't like it. Some might argue that I should cut it because my head resembles a mop, but it's growing on me...in more ways than one ;-) So I think I'll keep it around. And a positive about having this long hair is that I will have a great playoff mullet when the time comes. My dad might kill me when he reads this (Wait a minute, I'm 6'4", 220. Who am I kidding?) but, hey, I might as well grow it while I still can.

Confidence Building

Last night, we lost in a shootout 3-2. We were winning 2-1 with about 8 minutes left, and they scored to tie it up. I felt like we dominated the 3rd period. We had a lot of time in their zone, but we couldn't get the puck in the net. The good news is that we still clinched first place in our division with the one point, but the bad news is that we got beat 2 out of 3 times by the second place team in our division who we will probably have to play again somewhere down the road. I didn't play as well as I played on Saturday night, but I still think I had a strong game aside from a few mistakes. I had one shot blocked that I should've gotten through to the net, I gave up a 2-on-1 in the first period, and there was one time when I let someone get a step behind me, but Fresno's pass went for an icing. All night, Fresno was flying guys out of their zone. That's the only play they seemed to do. But other than those few mistakes, I think I played a smart game and I still felt confident out there.

You know you're making a difference in the game when the other team starts trash talking you. Some of the Fresno kids were telling me to "go back to the NA." And I was thinking how that could be an insult to me. It says a lot that they knew who I was, that I was in the NA, and that they were wasting their energy trying to get under my skin. It didn't work. I think I played even better in the 2nd, 3rd, and overtime periods after people started trash talking me. But I really feel like I can play better than I did last night. I'd like to play more physical and win every battle in the corners. And I'd like to get more shots on the net. I had a few shots, one shot that almost went in, but I want to shoot the puck more, especially in a close game like that where we just need to get pucks to the net.

It's tough to clinch with a loss. The mood in the locker room was disappointed after the game because we had the game on our sticks 4 or 5 times in the shootout, with the shootout going to 9 rounds. But we still clinched, and we should be proud. I think we are the best team in this league. We really need to bear down here in the next two weeks and start playing our best hockey because we play to our potential for parts of a game, but not the whole and sometimes I think I and the team need to do the things it takes to win a hockey game better: block shots, put your body on the line in the corners, win the battles for the puck, chip pucks out. Sometimes we revert to a skill game, but we need to play a gritty game, especially in playoff hockey. And this weekend sure felt like playoff hockey.

Nonetheless, I think I had a good weekend overall. I'm excited about the way I played, and I'm excited to keep getting even better and more confident every time I get on the ice.

Tonight we lost 3-2 in a shootout. It's a tough way to lose, but we still clinched home ice for playoffs with the point we got. I'll post more about the game tomorrow.

That Was Fun

Last night I had my best game of the year by far. I was making smart passes, hitting, beating people behind our net, shooting the puck well; I just felt really confident, and I don't remember making any mistakes. It felt awesome to finally play the way I know I can play. I had an all around good game. I probably had 5 or 6, maybe more, good shots, I played a big part in setting up our second goal of the game, the game-winner, I got stitched up in the second period, and I was knocking people around. I want to keep that going tonight. It felt so good to play the way I want to finally, and it was just a really fun game to play in. Tonight, we can clinch home ice advantage for the playoffs with a win.

After the game, the coaches called me to the front of the bus, just to tell me how well they thought I played last night and how confident I looked on the ice. They want me to keep playing that way, and I want to keep playing that way. I know I can now, and that's just a big confident boost for me going down the stretch.

I played my best game of the year by far tonight. I'm pretty pumped. Coach just told me he didn't think I made any mistakes and just played a really good, solid game. We won 3-1.

It sounds weird to say this because before tonight we had won 12 straight games but tonight we lost 6-5. We did not come close to playing our best hockey, especially as a defensive unit. Our decision making was poor, and it showed on the scoreboard. Anytime a team puts up 6 on you, no one on defense plays well. I think we beat ourselves tonight. We gave away grade A chances that we usually don't and Fresno took advantage. After all this talk about being more consistent, I don't think I was very consistent tonight. I was +2 on the night and never got scored on, but I made some mistakes that could've ended up with the puck in our net.

I think I had a strong 1st period, a bad 2nd period with a few good plays here and there, and a pretty good 3rd period with one bad mistake. Overall, I think I played well tonight, but to be honest, no one plays well when you lose a critical game like that. Our effort was there, but our brains were not. We need to think better and make smarter decisions. I was pretty careful with the puck tonight: I shot when I could and got the puck to the forwards for the most part, but I also had a few plays where I need to think better, where I would pass a puck off the boards when it should be a direct pass or when I missed an easy ten foot pass in the neutral zone. I just made a few mistakes that didn't cost us, but could've cost us, and I'd like to eliminate those.

The times that I did shoot, I needed to get the puck off the ice. I think I did well to get the puck to the net, but when I'm shooting I need to think about getting the puck off the ice so it's harder for the goalie to stop. It may sound like I'm overanalyzing every aspect of the game, every play, but that's how I'm learning. This coach demands perfection. You do things his way or not at all. He analyzes every play, always looks for things you do wrong so he can teach you to be better, and it's helping me to look at my play on the ice more and learn. It's helping me learn how to think and play at the same time.

Tomorrow is a new game. We need to come out firing on all cylinders tomorrow. No excuses. We need to come out and show we are the better team. We need to have a better effort even though we worked pretty hard tonight, but we also need to have a smarter effort. These next two games are huge. Tomorrow we just need to come out and do the things we need to do to win a hockey game. I need to focus on the things I need to focus on and keep things simple and have fun. Tomorrow we have another hockey game to play, and I have a feeling we are going to play better as a team.

Keep Climbin' That Staircase

This weekend is our biggest series of the year. It's a series that could determine who gets home-ice advantage in the playoffs, and it will definitely be a confidence booster before the playoffs for one team. We need to come out and show that we are the better team, just pound them in every aspect of the game because we can. I still don't think the team has played to its full potential since I've been here, and I know I personally haven't played to my potential yet. Now would be a good time to start. We want to play our best, smartest hockey going into the playoffs. There are only 6 games left; it's coming down to the end, but we want to keep it going as long as we can.

Tomorrow we are driving up to McCall for two games against the Monsters, and then we will come back to Boise after Saturday night's game for a Sunday night matchup. It's going to be a fun weekend. I am so excited. I've been preparing myself for these games for 2 weeks now, and I'm just ready for the puck to drop tomorrow. Like I said earlier, it's time for me to step up and be the player I know I can be. I tend to either hold onto the puck just a split second too long or get rid of it too quick. I need to play with confidence and make smart decisions. That's all I need to do. I don't need to worry about scoring goals or getting points, I just need to do my job: get the puck to the forwards and manage the game, shoot the puck when I can. I feel like I'm ready to keep climbing this staircase this weekend.

It's been awesome being around a coach with so much knowledge and success. He draws from his experience to help us succeed, and I've really enjoyed learning as much as I can here, soaking in all I can. He knows what it takes to win, and he doesn't accept anything else. Today, a player from an ECHL championship team that he coached, came to talk to us briefly during our practice. He talked about what it takes for a good team to become a championship team. You don't have to be the most talented team, you just have to be the best team in terms of your will to win and what you'll do for your team to win. Our coach and this player shared stories about players getting cross-checked in the face during their playoff run and taking it without retaliating because they were so focused on one goal as a team. They came together as a team with one goal in mind and put the team in front of anything, even their dental bills. I don't remember every detail of the talk, but it was pretty inspiring to hear it. They came out every night and battled for each other and knew they would win. And they did win. There are a lot of lessons that we, as a team heading into playoffs, can take from that talk.

I'm excited for this weekend, and I'll keep you posted about what happens. Apparently our games are the talk of the town up in McCall.

Monster of a Weekend Ahead

The Monsters are coming to town this weekend. I've heard that Fresno is a chippy team, especially when they play us. I played their team in the NAHL when I was in New Mexico and saw some of that style of play, and then in the WSHL Showcase we played Fresno's WSHL team, but they weren't as chippy as usual because it was a showcase tournament. The last time the Junior Steelheads played the Monsters in Fresno when I wasn't here earlier this year, there were apparently a lot of fights and multiple people got jumped, which is when one player is pretty much forced into a fight. I like playing in those games, though, because I think I'm pretty unflappable out on the ice, at least in terms of other players getting under my skin. Getting under my own skin is another story; I'm working on my consistency and decision making though. I mean if I have to get angry, I will, but I think in these kinds of games, we all have to play smart and disciplined even if the other team is not. We can't have players getting kicked out or taking stupid penalties because these games mean a lot for home ice advantage in the playoffs, and our coaches have been emphasizing these points to us for the past two weeks now. Fresno will try to get under our skin, try to take us off our game. And so will a lot of teams once in the playoffs. But we have to stay strong, play our game, and, quite frankly, not take any shit from other teams.

Today, after practice, we spent the whole day handing out buy one, get one free coupons to businesses all around town for our game at the Qwest Center in downtown Boise on Sunday night. We are trying to pack the house for what should be a really awesome, fun game. Going around to businesses and talking to people like that is difficult and very exhausting. Sometimes you talk to people who aren't even slightly interested, and it puts you down a little. But then you talk to people who are really excited, and it makes it easier. From what I saw, though, most people that we handed coupons out to were really excited about them. Hopefully we get a big crowd, but we will see.

I can't wait for this weekend. And I'm excited to play my best hockey games of the year. I need to get better every game from here on out. Enough of this inconsistency. I want to be a rock out there. I know I can be. It's just time for me to do it.

Feelin' Lucky

I had a really good day today, even though it was an early one. I was going to wake up at 6:20 this morning to get ready to leave for our Special Olympics volunteering, but my alarm never went off, so I woke up at 7:02 and was out the door by 7:12. I haven't been up that early in a while, but it felt good, and I had a lot of fun refereeing floor hockey for the Special Olympics. It was definitely worth the early awakening. It was really awesome interacting with some of the athletes and just watching them compete. Right when I was leaving for practice at about 2 in the afternoon, I started talking to an older lady and her son after her son waved to me. He was probably about 40 or 50, deaf and couldn't speak, read, or write. But he seemed like he was the happiest person on earth. It was pretty powerful to me. She said when he was born, she thought he was going to be her linebacker son, but he got into an accident at a young age and lost all those abilities. She's taken care of him ever since. It was just a passing conversation, one that really makes me think about how lucky I am, though. Not everyone gets to do what I'm doing: play hockey every day. And not everyone gets to chase their dream like me. I'm lucky to be healthy and to have the family I have to support me. I think it meant a lot to everyone there that we had taken the time to volunteer. All the athletes were eager to talk to us and got wide-eyed when they asked us if we play for the Steelheads. It was a really fun day. It's always good to get out in the community.

And then after that, I got to go to hockey practice: the highlight of my day every day. I think I had a good week of practice this week. I'm just feeling more and more confident, and I think I'm starting to turn the corner. Like Coach said, "It looks like I'm a defenseman who actually knows what he's doing now." I'm scoring goals in practice, making tape-to-tape passes, and starting to have more fun and just play hockey like I can. It's a good feeling. And I hope it continues because this is the time in the season where I have to be at my best. I'm having fun, thinking in the present. I need to keep thinking in the moment because I think sometimes thinking about the future or the past really brings me down, unintentionally, but the extra thinking weighs me down and affects my play.

After practice, my roommate and I came back to the house to eat dinner and play some basketball in the nice weather we have here. It was fun, and then we headed out to the Steelheads game, which is the picture at the top of this post. They're the professional team in the ECHL here in Boise, and that's the rink we get to practice in and have one game a weekend in. It's a pretty amazing facility, and we're lucky to get to use it. The Steelheads games are really fun too; tonight I saw more fans than I've seen there yet in the month and a half I've been here. And the home team had a good showing tonight, winning 5-3. I love going to watch those games because I try to learn while I'm watching, and I think I do. Sometimes I just watch one player on the ice for his whole shift to see how he plays. I think it can really help my game to get to go to Steelheads' games and get to watch players play at such a high level.

Tomorrow, we have a day off, and I'm excited about it. I'm going to go to the gym and then just hang out with some of the guys in the afternoon. Next week is a big week for me. I want to keep playing well, keep having fun, and keep getting better because before I know it, this season will be over. Our games and practices are numbered, and I don't want to look back and regret not working harder when I could have; I want to look back and know that I gave everything to get better and help the team, and I feel like I have done that to this point.

Weekend Off, Time to Gear Up for Final Stretch

This weekend we have an off weekend. There are some kids on the team taking the ACT, which I'm glad I don't have to worry about anymore. It's fun to help them out with some of their problems when they're practicing, though. I've had 4 or 5 kids tell me they want me to take the ACT for them, kind of jokingly, because they all know I did really well on it. I'm going to use this weekend to get some rest because the next 6 games are huge for us, and after that we're in the playoffs. I've already played 16 games here and three game weekends get pretty tiring. I'm not complaining though. I've sat enough games this year. Now, I've played 23 games, more than I've played in each of the past 4 years, and I'm loving it and learning and getting better every time I step on the ice.

After practice today, the owner of our team told me that my skating is getting better. He can tell. It's good to know that people are noticing the effort I'm putting into getting better, and I think it shows a lot about me that I'm getting so much better so fast. Again, I stayed after practice, and instead of skating in circles and shooting pucks, like a lot of kids do, I did some drills that are going to help me progress. I can easily say that I'm a much improved player from the start of this year—I won't say I'm a completely different player, but it's hard to describe how much better I've gotten—and I think in the past month, I've taken some big steps in becoming a better hockey player. I've shown my strengths and my weaknesses have become more evident, which is a good thing because I know what I need to work on, and I have worked on and will continue to work on the things I need to. I'm really excited about these upcoming games and of course the playoffs because I know I can make a difference. I'm ready to keep climbing these steps to get better.

Tomorrow the guys on the team not taking the ACT are going to be refs for a Special Olympics floor hockey tournament before our afternoon practice, and then tomorrow night there is a Steelheads game we are going to as a team. It should be a good weekend. We have to stay focused, though, because in one week Fresno, our biggest in-division rival is coming into town, and we want to bury them.

Hard Work Will Pay Off

We skated at the end of practice today. It was a hard day. Yesterday, we had a pretty easy day. We scrimmaged 4-on-4 after such a long road trip, and today it was back to work. Coach told me yesterday that I'm looking quicker out there, but I still have times where I just let my guard down. I need to be more mentally tough on the ice and battle every shift. He wants me to work on making plays. I tend to get the puck in the neutral zone and just throw it back into the offensive zone, when I should make a D-to-D pass, so we can keep possession. It's a smart, safe play to get the puck deep, and I should do it sometimes, but he said it's not a play a good defenseman would make.

We did some hard drills today, and then we had a hard skate. It's good to skate, especially since we have a week and a half until our next game, and especially for someone like me, who can work on quickness and endurance during the skate. After the skate, I stayed on the ice and worked on my quickness and footwork even more. I think I will get even better if I work on things when I'm already tired. It will only make me better, more mentally tough and ready to push through tiredness in games because there are bound to be shifts late in games where I will have to battle to get the puck out of the zone, battle for every inch when my legs don't want to move anymore. Speaking of tiredness, I'm pretty tired right now, so I'm going to bed, but I felt like I should post for my avid readers out there. Sorry to disappoint, but not every post can be as inspirational as some of them...

Step by Step

I've been playing well lately. But I still know I can play better. Coach told me after the last game that I played well, that he thinks I've taken a step, and I will continue to move forward in the next few weeks. We only have 6 games left before playoffs. I have to soak in everything I can before then and continue to get better every time I step on the ice, and focus on getting better for myself and for the team. Coach told me for the team to be successful in playoffs, he needs me to play better. He said I've been playing well, and he also knows that I can play better, but I have to be intense mentally and never take a shift or a play off. I think I need to get tougher as well. I'm 6'4", 220. I don't think anyone should be able to push me around or get around me. I want to be a shut down defenseman, but also be a quarterback and make plays to get us out of the zone. I think I have the tools to be an all-around defenseman, but I still make some stupid mistakes in the course of a game. I know everyone makes mistakes. No one ever has a perfect game, but I want to have a perfect effort, and sometimes I miss plays that I know I should make.

I'm watching the Avs game right now, and I see them making some of the same mistakes I do; it makes me feel better even though I know it's at a much higher level. Coach told me the other day that he's seen kids like me throughout his coaching career, who continue to grow and get better long after other kids have reached their potential at age 15 or 16. I'm still growing into my body and learning what it takes to be a hockey player. It was good to hear. And I know I want to be perfect; I'm a perfectionist. But I have to realize this is a process, and I'm really only at the beginning, only 21 games into my hockey career. This is my first year of focusing on hockey alone; I think I'm the only one on this team who came out of high school hockey, who never played AAA or tiered Midget hockey, who played soccer, ran track, did musicals, water skied, and snow skied when it wasn't hockey season. People still look at me with weird looks on their faces when they find out I never played AAA. I might not be perfect right now, but I think I will only get better with time because I'm smart enough and athletic enough to be a stalwart defenseman if I put my mind to it. I need to start playing with some pride, some toughness, and mostly just have fun. Because when you get past all the uncertainty and stress, it's really all about having fun. I even imagined I was playing in Vail at Dobson this past weekend. Sometimes it helps to picture the other team in Lewis-Palmer jerseys (one of Battle Mountain's biggest rivals) because those were the games I felt the most comfortable in, and I think those were the games I played at my best. It's time for me to take a step here and really show what kind of player I can be.

We stopped and watched 4th quarter of the Super Bowl about 50 miles outside of Vegas, which was really fun. It was awesome to see the Packers come up big on the biggest stage there is, and it's always a lot of fun to people watch in Vegas, especially during the Super Bowl. There are some characters out there to say the least. You gotta love seeing a new team win the Super Bowl. And there are some inspirational stories about some of the Packers that I can definitely learn a lot from: Donald Driver, Aaron Rodgers, Clay Matthews, who was a walk on at USC and didn't start for 4 years. Now he's a Super Bowl winning player, and one of the marquee players in the NFL! Crazy things can happen when you persist and work hard and believe in yourself.

We just finished up a 6 game, 10 day road trip. I'm tired and ready to be back in Boise! Today we won 3 to 2 in another tight game, but again, it's valuable experience to be able to pull out tight games, and playing in these games will only help us gear up for playoffs, which are only 6 games away. I played well again today. I made some good plays and a few bad ones. But I never got scored on during this road trip, and I feel like I've taken a step in getting better. I know I can still play better, but I think my confidence is building and I'm getting ready to break out and start playing my best hockey here at the end of the year. I have to keep working hard, stay positive, and keep believing in myself and my abilities.

Last night was a close game. We won 5-4 in overtime. We didn't have our best game, and the other team came out really strong. We were down 2-0, but came back to win, which is a good sign. I played pretty well. I was hitting people and making good passes. I'd like to shoot the puck more, but I'm happy with how I played last night. Before the game, I told myself I wanted to play with confidence, play smart, and keep things simple. I think I did a good job for the most part, and it was a lot of fun to play in that close of a game. Tonight we have to control the game because a lot of times, the longer an opponent is in a close game, the more they believe they can win. And those games can be really dangerous. I'm going to focus on keeping my strong play going.

I know I'm still a very raw player, but, honestly, it's really frustrating when I don't make the right play or when I make mistakes that I can eliminate with better thinking and better footwork. And that's going to drive me to get better. I want to be the best I can be, and I think I can be a very good player if I keep learning and working. I believe I can play hockey at a very high level. I'm learning to be a hockey player, though, and I think being in a place where I'm playing a lot and getting coached a lot will only help me accomplish my future goals. By the way, there is no free internet at our hotel, so I'm writing all these posts through text messages, and I'm sorry if they seem out of order, but I can only fit so much in one text.

He said he thinks I'm doing well, that I make some really good plays and then some plays that are questionable. I'm not very consistent right now, which is understandable considering I've never played hockey at a higher level than high school hockey in Colorado before this year. He told me that I'm 19 years old, not a kid anymore, but he also realizes that in terms of being a hockey player, I'm still very undeveloped and I've come a long way considering that. I know I make some mistakes, but I'm going to work on my consistency in the next few weeks. Coach also told me all the mistakes I'm making are coachable, and I need to keep working on getting better because I have a lot of potential and a lot to learn.

I had a good week of practice this week. I can tell I'm really learning. Tomorrow, we head out for Long Beach, and I can say I'm ready to get out of Vegas. It's fun here, but buffet food, slot machines, and cigarette smoke get old fast. I'm excited for this weekend, though. Coach told me yesterday that my footwork has improved a lot in a month. He told me that once I get a few things figured out on one-on-ones, no one will be able to beat me. (Jack, that includes you.) I just need to work on letting the play come to me and keeping my feet moving when I make contact. Today he talked to me for a while, asked how I'm doing, and I said I think I'm learning a lot and improving.

One of my good friends just told me that he's been reading my blog a lot lately (shout out to Mike Jones) and thinks I need to stop worrying about every little thing and just have fun with it. I agree. It's good to be hard on yourself, so you can improve and work on things you need to work on. But I think I need to find a happy medium, and just play with confidence every day. There are a lot of ups and downs and so much uncertainty in this business that makes it hard to stay positive sometimes; I need to believe in myself, though, because I have a lot of good things going for me. I have to stay mentally strong and just keep working.

We just finished with practice for the day. I had a pretty good practice. I'm starting to figure things out and put everything together. I still have a lot to work on, but I can say in the month that I've been in Idaho, I've improved A LOT. Even today, Coach came up to me and told me my footwork has gotten so much better in one month, I just need to work on keeping my feet moving and always thinking. Tonight we're going to an ECHL game as a team: the Las Vegas Wranglers against the Stockton Thunder. Should be fun, and I'm looking forward to continuing to improve every time I step on the ice and having fun. It's supposed to be fun. Hard work, but fun. And sometimes I get away from that and bring myself down by being too hard on myself.