I can't tell you how happy I am that I came here from Bismarck. I believe in myself more and more every day, I believe in the coach here, and I believe in my teammates playing beside me. We dropped another 2-1 game to Corpus Christi, but our effort was there, our hearts were really in it, and I think everyone watching could tell that we wanted so badly to win these games this weekend. We ran into a hot goalie, and the puck just didn't bounce our way. We had so many more chances than the Ice Rays; to be honest, I can't believe we only scored 1 goal in both games. Personally, I thought I played really well tonight. I didn't do anything unbelievable, but I just played a solid game. I made some good, patient passes in our defensive zone, I played with confidence and stood up when I needed to, and I stayed positive and vocal on the bench even when my name wasn't called. I have to remember what this feels like because if I can approach every game the way I approached the game tonight, I know good things will happen for me. I tried not to put too much pressure on myself. I kept reminding myself that I belong here, and that the kids I am playing against are just that: kids, just like me. They're no better than me just because they've played AAA hockey their whole lives. They're no better than me because I only played high school hockey in Colorado for 4 years. I know I can be a great player when I don't let my mind tell me otherwise. I'm tired of holding myself back mentally when I know what I can do on the ice. I'm getting better every day, and I want to be the best I can be for myself and for this team, but it comes down to believing in myself. It's hard at times, but I'm figuring it out.
Tonight, I didn't hold back at all. Like I said, I think I played a solid game. I had fun, and I didn't worry about making mistakes. I was confident in what I had to do, and I don't think I hesitated when I had to make a quick decision. It's a bummer that the end result was not what we were looking for, but we're so close, and we have to stay patient and believe in ourselves. Things will turn around if we stay true to the team.
After the game, Coach came into the locker room and gave a speech that I don't think I'll ever forget. He came in and told us not to hang our heads. We skated our asses off tonight, and that's all he can ask for. He told us about his juniors team, which had a 4 game road trip, and lost by a differential of 42 goals. Then, after Christmas, they went on a roll. He said what we're going through is not bad. At least we are giving our best every night, and that's all he wants us to do. We can't give up on ourselves or each other; we have to stay patient and believe in our systems and our coaches to help us get better every day. He said we are getting better every time we step on the ice, and we have to believe we can turn our season around if we persevere. He told us about his 17 surgeries in his playing days, and how he never, ever gave up, even when he wasn't half the player he was when he started. We are all young, and we have so much to look forward to in our lives and our hockey careers, but we have to believe in ourselves. He told us that he believes in us, that he turned down other jobs because he believes in us and this organization, and that he will not quit on us if we don't quit on ourselves. We're a team, and we're going to get through these hard times with hard work and a strong belief.
The talk after the game really inspired me. It made me want to put it on the line for this coach, for this organization, and for my teammates. I'm going to continue working as hard as I can to be the best hockey player I can be because I believe in myself, and I believe in where I'm headed.
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