I didn't play again tonight. We won 8-6 in a pretty wild game. I figured I wasn't going to play again tonight because we won last night, and I didn't think the lineup would change because of that. Still, I was sort of hoping I would. I had my grandparents, parents, and sister here to watch me, and I'm a little bummed I didn't play while they were here. But at the same time, I want to play because I deserve to play, not just because I want to play. They loved being here to see me over Thanksgiving, and it would have been a bonus for them to see me play, but now I have to work this week to try to earn a spot. I'm happy I got to see them, but now I'm ready to get back to work and focus on just hockey.
It is always hard to be a scratch. No one likes it, especially when your team wins. Watching your team win is a little harder than watching your team lose. Of course I'm happy the team won these two games, but it's just natural to wish that I was out there with them. It's definitely hard to prepare to play in games and then hear that you're not playing. It's a major letdown, but that's why I'm going to learn a lesson from this weekend. I want to have a really good week of practice and prove that I can help this team.
I read a book called The Fearless Mind by Craig Manning to sort of help me out with the mental side of all this, and it actually helps a lot. It says, "When we delve into other people's business excessively, we open the door to irrelevant stimuli that only serve to lower our ability to function in productive, efficient ways. This energy would be far better channeled into what we can do to improve our performance...we can only be responsible for what we have control over." I have to only worry about the things I can control. I'm ready to put this weekend behind me and have a good week of practice this week.
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