Yesterday, we had a pregame skate at 10 in the morning. Afterwards, Coach held back a few kids who weren't playing, and we had a little extra skate. It was really tough, but I think I did well. Still, for some reason, I don't think I'm playing hockey the way I know I can. Maybe I'm not as confident as I should be, maybe I'm holding myself back mentally, or maybe it's a combination of the two. I don't know, but I know I need to start taking risks. I think the speed of play at this level has slowed down enough for me that I can start to take risks and not worry so much about making mistakes. I need to be more physical, and I need to start making plays with the puck, not always just making the safe play.
I didn't play again last night, and it was a hard game to watch from the stands because we won in overtime. Of course, I'm always cheering for us to win, but at the same time, it's difficult to watch your team win like that and not be on the ice with them. It's so frustrating. I need to really start competing for a spot on the 20-man game roster. I don't like sitting in the stands, and I'm not satisfied with it. I need to start playing my game, and I think I need to start getting mad that I'm not playing.
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