Keep Truckin'

I didn't play again last night. We lost a pretty tight game 5-3 to the Amarillo Bulls. We definitely had chances to win the game, but a few costly mistakes kept us from getting back in it. It's so hard to stay positive when I'm not playing, and I feel like I deserve to be playing, but I'm taking everything in stride and trying not to absorb any negative energy, even when there are people all around me complaining and questioning the fact that they're not playing. I think I've probably sat more games than anyone on the team this year because I sat 13 straight or something like that in Bismarck, and I think I've probably complained the least. That's just the way I am. I might be upset at myself or contemplate why I'm not playing, but I don't think I let it show, and I definitely never open my mouth to complain because that's what gets most kids in trouble. I just work hard to try to play the next weekend and try to get better. That's really all I can control: my work ethic and my attitude. Everything else, I kind of just have to go with because it's in other people's hands.

I talked to the coaches last night after I found out I was scratched. Coach told me I probably deserve to be playing more than I am because I'm right there with 2 or 3 other defensemen on the team. But they're in a numbers game right now. He told me he loves my attitude and the fact that I don't complain about not playing, like a lot of kids do, and he knows I'm working my ass off. He said he wishes he could dress more defensemen every game, but he can only dress 6. He wants me to stay positive, and he wants me to know that he hasn't given up on me. He really thinks I can be a solid defenseman for his team if someone is injured or traded. I've learned in my first few months of junior hockey that things like that can happen very fast, and I need to stay patient. I'm in a good spot. Coach knows I'm getting better; he told me he sees improvement in my footwork and confidence, he sees me scoring more in drills in practice, and, again, he told me that he didn't want me to feel like he's giving up on me. He's dropping me down to a team at the Junior Tier III level for this next weekend because they're going to be tight for numbers again next weekend in Topeka, and he wants me to play. And I want to play. I wouldn't want to drive all the way to Topeka and not get to play in any games.

I'm looking on the bright side here. I think it will be good for me to go down and get to play for one of the best teams at the Tier III level. I think it will help me with my confidence, and I think it will make me hungrier to play more with the Mustangs when I come back. Again, I'm taking everything in stride, and I'll post more about what I'm doing when I find out more about what's going on.