Valued Experience

Coming onto a new team mid-season is always sort of a stressful experience. There are new players, new coaches, new drills, new expectations. I think I'm in the feeling out phase right now. I played games with the Junior Steelheads before Christmas break, which makes things a little easier, but I'm still getting a hang of the drills and all. And sometimes I revert to my usual self and start thinking everyone is watching me, hoping for a mistake, and then I make a mistake. I just need to play hockey, play without over thinking. Because when I play my game, I play well. One thing I still need to work on, that was evident today, is my stick work. I need to have a more active stick. Because I am so tall, I have a long stick and it's one of my most important weapons; I just forget to use it sometimes. I have to play big because I am big. I don't know how many times people tell me how hard it is to get around me. The other day, a kid on this team said to me, "Trying to get around you is like trying to get around a wall." I just need to play with more confidence and, most importantly, have fun. I tend to be a little hard on myself at times, especially when I screw up once. And then I just dig myself into a hole with negative thoughts and it's hard to play well after that. Good news, though, is that this is the 3rd time I've been on a new team this year, so I should be getting used to coming onto new teams by now. I think I'll start to feel comfortable even faster this time around.

In reality, I've been doing really well these past few days of practice (even though I won the Bender Bucket yet again.) I guess I need to work on my shootout skills. But I think, mostly, I just cracked under the pressure because I felt like everyone was watching me, hoping I would win the Bender. I really think I can be an important part of this team, though. I may not bring touted scoring skills to the table, as evidenced by my poor shootout skills (did anyone see Stamkos eat it on his penalty shot the other day, by the way?) but I think I have other tools that I can use to help this team win, and I'm always eager to learn and get better. I think the coach here will be able to help me improve a lot, and I can't wait to see what happens.

I made kind of a cool realization the other day. I've had a taste of all three tiers of junior hockey this year. From the All-Star Game at the Indiana Ice main camp (Tier I), to playing with the Bismarck Bobcats and New Mexico Mustangs (Tier II), to now, with the Idaho Junior Steelheads (Tier III). I've seen what it takes to play at each level, and I've seen how fine the line is between all the levels. There really isn't that much of a difference. I think I have all the tools to succeed at any level I tell myself I can play at, but one thing I need to improve upon is my knowledge of the game. I need game experience, and I think until I get that, coaches will be confused as to what to do with me. That's why I need to play. I need to learn the game. Of course there are other things that I can improve upon as well, but those things will come in time also. I think it's definitely good for me to see all the tiers of junior hockey because it will only help me in the long run to know what it takes to play in the NAHL or USHL and to know how close I really am. My goals are still in reach, and I think I'm in a great place here in Boise. Every day I'm going to keep working hard, keep learning, and stay focused. It's all uphill from here.