Scary Drive Back from Breck

I drove to Breck yesterday to get a little skate in. It was snowing like crazy, but I didn't think the roads would be that bad; they were just a little wet when I left. But about halfway up Vail Pass, there were 5 or 6 accidents coming the other way. Of course it was too late to turn around then because I would've hit the traffic either way, so I decided to keep going to the skate in Breckenridge. After about 2 hours at the ice rink, the roads definitely got worse, and I heard the pass was closed due to "adverse conditions and multiple accidents." I didn't want to sit around in Breckenridge or wait until later at night when the roads would probably be even worse, so I decided to take the back way home, through Leadville. That ended up being a bad decision. It took about 3 hours to get home, and I hit multiple traffic jams. The roads were very slick, and of course there were idiots driving on them, like always. I can't believe it's snowing so much, and it's almost May! But I got home safely. Thankfully, I was driving the Batmobile (my mom's black Audi that's very good in the snow.) I guess next time I go to Breck for hockey, though, I will have to check the weather!

Dobson's Closed, Eagle's Closed = Rough Life for a Hockey Player in Vail

Dobson is closed for a month for maintenance, and Eagle Ice Rink is closed for the summer...great! Sucks to be a hockey player in Vail right now. I drove over to Breckenridge today for a stick and puck, which was good, but that drive might get old fast. Anyway, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do, and I'm gonna make it work for the next few weeks before these upcoming tryouts in May. It's exciting! It seems like it was just yesterday I was preparing for the summer tryout camps last May. But I think this time around, I am much more confident and much more prepared for what's coming. I know what I have to do to succeed at these camps, and I know what I have to do to prepare myself for these camps, but unfortunately, I will have to do the on-ice stuff over in Breck for the next few days. And there's more bad news: I think Breck's rink is closing pretty soon for maintenance as well, so I will have to figure something out when that happens.

Gotta Love Those Books That Change Your Life

My mom told me the other day that I should use this time away from school to my advantage. She says a lot of kids in college don't have time to read books other than the books they're required to read, so why not start reading more every day? I love to read; Mom always knows best. And the book I just started to read changed my life in only a few pages. Good advice, Mom. On the cover, this book says, "Acquire the secrets of success...achieve everything you've always wanted: personal property, financial security, power and influence, the ideal job, satisfying relationships, a rewarding and enjoyable life." Sounds cheesy, right? It almost sounds like an infomercial, guaranteeing you immediate happiness in your life if you just buy this amazing new product: a potato skinning machine that doubles as a margarita maker. My mom would love that...for the record, margarita makers always make everything better. If there was a Snuggie with a built in, portable margarita maker, I'm sure it would sell like crazy. Anyway, that was a weird tangent I just went off on...But I also thought the book looked cheesy when I first looked at it. How is a book going to tell me how to succeed? Do I need a book to tell me how to achieve everything I've always wanted? What kind of advice can this doctor writing this book give to a hockey player like me? Honestly, within the first few pages, it made me realize that there's something wrong with the way I think a lot of the time. I need to think positively and destroy my negative thoughts before they become monsters, I need to act confidently to think confidently, and I need to realize that the thinking that guides my intelligence is much more important than how much intelligence I have. Those are only a few of the things I learned from the first 50 pages of this book. How successful someone is basically boils down to how they think and how their attitude rubs off on other people. It's not about how much someone knows; it's about how they work with people and how much motivation they have to work hard. It's an awesome book that has great examples of people who have trouble thinking, like I sometimes do, and it guides you through how some of these people fix their problems, usually by simply changing the way they think...The mind is a powerful thing, and these are all lessons I think I've learned in some capacity this year, knowingly or not. It's just cool to read about them.

So, anyway, in a roundabout sort of way, I've come to my point. After reading this book for about an hour, I realized something that bothers me. There have been a lot of people who have asked me how my season went since I got home. How many people care about what I'm doing is awesome. I love how many people are curious about my experiences. But I think the way I've answered most people is bad. I seem to always start my response to that question with, "Well, it was definitely an interesting year, not the year I was expecting to have." I sort of revert into this negative response mode, where I start my answer with a negative statement, and it all sort of seems negative from there, like I didn't truly enjoy what I did this year. But I did enjoy what I did this year. A lot. I think my response is affected by my subconscious thinking. I tend to think automatically that people want to hear how bad my experience was because it's such a unique thing I'm doing, at least around here. And I automatically think people look down on what I'm doing because they believe I should be in college, so I start my response negatively to please those people who, my mind is telling me, are whispering behind my back about how they were right, that I should've just gone to college. The mind is a really weird thing. And maybe it's just my mind. I don't know. But I need to fix that with better thinking. I need to be confident that I chose this path for a reason, and I need to remember all the positives this season, and dispel the negatives. From now on, anyone who asks me how my season was, I'm going to start my answer with, "Well, it was a pretty amazing year, one that I'll never forget." It sounds much more positive, and I think it will better help me explain to people how amazing this season really was for me.

I can't wait to keep reading this book! It changed the way I think in one day. Now, I just need to keep thinking like this. By the way, the book is "The Magic of Thinking Big" by Dr. David Schwartz.

9,000 Pageviews/1 Year Blog Anniversary!

So, I've been writing on this blog now for about a year...It's crazy how time flies. And I now have over 9,000 pageviews, only a modest number of views compared to Facemash, facebook's predecessor, which had 20,000 views in about 2 hours. But I'll take it. I'm not trying to be the next facebook here! This blog has been really helpful to me--it helps me stay positive and stay sane in such an ultra-competitive environment--and it's been awesome to hear how many people tell me how much they love reading it. People telling me they're proud of me, saying how cool they think what I'm doing is, or telling me their grandma, who doesn't even know me, regularly reads this blog really keeps me going.

It's amazing how powerful a dream can be, and it's been a very humbling, very gratifying, and sometimes very frustrating experience following my dream. I read a quote the other day that said, "There's a difference between a dreamer and someone who has a dream." I like that quote because I could've been a dreamer and wondered what would've happened if I gave my dream a chance, but instead I decided to be someone who has a dream and put action into chasing it. It's been totally cool to hear how many people my dream has touched and see how many people are interested in following my dream with me, even though right now my dream hasn't been realized; I'm just in the process of chasing it. And that's what's cool about this blog. I'm giving you a raw, stream-of-consciousness look into my life. Sometimes it's a little uncomfortable for me to share my emotions and thoughts via the Interweb, and I'm sure sometimes it's a little uncomfortable for you to read into my feelings as well, but it's something I've gotten more used to, and it's something that I've really started to enjoy. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, "Thanks for reading this and chasing my dream with me."

I don't even know why I'm getting all emotional right now and thanking my readers because 9,000 isn't that monumental of a number. Maybe I should've waited for 10,000 views to write this post...But I guess I'm just excited about what I'm doing, and I'm excited that other people are so interested in what I'm doing too.

Summer Plans

I think I'm going to start writing for the Vail Daily this summer. I'm really excited about it because it will keep me busy, and it will keep me writing. I think it would be really awesome to write about my junior hockey experience in the newspaper because I don't think a lot of people know what junior hockey is about, especially around here where skiing is king. I, myself, didn't even know what junior hockey was about until this past year. It might be something that you never understand unless you participate, but I think it would be really cool to write about it more publicly to try to inform people. I can't say how many times I get confused looks when I tell people what I am doing right now. I say, "I'm playing junior hockey, trying to get a college scholarship." And I get answers like, "You should say you're deferring from college, so it actually sounds like you're doing something." That bothers me because I felt like I was doing something this year. I know there are doubters and people questioning my choice to play junior hockey; I guess that is something I just need to get used to and something I need to disregard. Because the only opinion that matters is mine. I shouldn't let other people's opinions affect my attitude. But I think writing about it will really help me stay positive and help inform people that I was doing more than just playing hockey this year.

I'm excited for this summer as well because I think I can really separate myself with how I train. After one year of junior hockey, I know what it takes to be successful on and off the ice, which will only help motivate me to work harder this summer. I can really push myself off the ice this summer to make myself a better player, and I know there will be people training as hard or harder than me, so that will drive me also. I want to come into the season in the best shape possible.

22,039 Miles Traveled and 347 Hours and 45 Minutes Spent on a Bus or in My Car

WOW! One year gone and that's how much I've traveled...approximately. There were a few times where we stopped for a few hours on our bus due to flat tires, poorly planned meals, or a search for a gas station. But that's what junior hockey is about! What a crazy year! What a fun year!

It Takes a Weird Person to be a High-Level Athlete

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds. Explore." -Mark Twain

Recently, I've been having some major conflicts in my head about whether or not I made the right decision to play junior hockey. I think it's been hard for me because I went from playing hockey every day for 7 months to sitting around at home, with too much time on my hands to just think. When I think, I tend to think too much about every little detail of the past and the future, but I spend too little time thinking about the present, which is really the only time that matters. I just read a picture book called "Run With Your Dreams," and inside it says, "To be a winner profit from the past, live in the present and look to the future; living a continuous positive cycle. Remember: you are who you are today." I shouldn't worry about the past or the future. I just need to live in the present because this is the only time in my life that I will have the chance to do what I am doing. There was a 2 year window of opportunity for me--one year which is already done--but I need to live in the present and look forward to next year, not worry about things I can't control. That's just silly and a waste of energy. I should be proud that I'm doing something unique, not worried that I will graduate 2 years after other kids my age. I'm learning valuable lessons that I will be able to draw from for the rest of my life. And I understand that there are a lot of other kids out there who are nowhere near as motivated as I am, that they are in college just to be in college. But I'm chasing a dream. It took a lot of courage to do what I am doing, and I know there are a lot of doubters out there, but I'm confident I am doing what I want to do, and I'm confident I chose the right path. I'm having a lot of fun pushing myself to the limit, learning about myself and life, and learning about the game of hockey.

I think it's natural for me to have thoughts like this, especially after such a long, hard season. I think a lot of junior hockey players go through the same thing. I guess it's part of the process. I remember the St. Cloud State assistant coach telling us earlier this year that junior hockey tends to weed out the players who don't really love hockey. And I love hockey, so I'm going to keep going after my dream and keep giving 100% to reach my goals.

I also remember, earlier on in the year, our athletic trainer in Bismarck told us that it takes a really weird person to be an athlete at a high level. I didn't really understand why when he told us that. After one year of junior hockey, I know why. I just did the math and calculated that I drove approximately 22,039 miles this year on bus trips and cross-country drives, and I spent approximately 347 hours and 45 minutes on buses or in my car, according to Google Maps. 347 hours is about 14 and a half days!! I spent 2 weeks just on a bus or in my car. I don't want to even calculate--nor could I even calculate--the time I spent on the ice this year. But I was on the ice pretty much every day for 7 months! Ahh the life of a junior hockey player!

2010-11 Season in Review

Well, it definitely wasn't the season I was expecting to have, but I still had a lot of fun. I met so many awesome people, some friends that I will never forget, and I had an all-around unforgettable experience, where I learned so much. I played in three different cities, traveled all across the country from Bismarck to Boise and Albuquerque, to San Diego, Topeka, El Paso, and everywhere in between. It was a wild ride, but, looking back and looking forward, I'm happy I made the decision to play juniors. I've learned about myself as a hockey player and person, and I've learned from other's actions and from my experiences. It has been a valuable journey so far, one that I will be able to draw lessons from for the rest of my life, and I think it will continue to only get better, as long as I keep working hard and keep my positive attitude.

I jumped into this whole process, knowing almost nothing about junior hockey. Now, after 1 season, I can easily say I'm much more knowledgeable about the game of hockey and about myself as a person than I was only a year ago. It's been an unbelievable experience, one that I don't think many people can relate to and one that I don't think many people understand. But playing junior hockey is a decision I made, and I think it's a decision and a journey that will only help me in the future. I will never forget the tumultuous, but still amazingly gratifying season I had this year, and I can't wait to see what next season holds.

I went to Bismarck, North Dakota in August, scared and not really knowing what to expect from the long bus rides and grueling season that is junior hockey. I think it definitely showed that I was inexperienced and not ready to play at that level when I first showed up after main camp. I was the worst one on the ice for a while. But I worked hard and stayed positive and tried to learn, and learn quickly. I think I improved fast, and I made a reputation for myself with hard work on and off the ice. I showed up to the rink early every day, I was on the ice first every day, and the last one off every day. And I went to the gym damn near every day. That showed as well, as I quickly gained 20 pounds. But I still wasn't playing. I was sitting every game, wondering when my chance would come, if ever. I stayed positive, though, and I think I gained a lot of respect from the players and coaches because of my attitude, even when things weren't going my way.

Then, an opportunity opened up for me in New Mexico, where I would get more playing time and a chance to prove myself right away. I knew I needed to play in order to improve, so I hopped in the car the next day and drove myself down to Albuquerque. It was definitely hard to leave Bismarck right when I was beginning to feel comfortable with the guys on the team, but it was something I needed to do, and it was the best option for me. I played 7 games in New Mexico, and I think I played pretty well; I thought I could've very easily been playing more, but I still wasn't playing as much as I needed to or as much as I wanted to. It was a tough situation because I was 2 months behind everyone else on the team, but again, I stayed positive and worked hard. I think the coach in New Mexico really enjoyed having me around because of my attitude, and I really enjoyed my experience in New Mexico as well. But another opportunity opened up for me with the Idaho Junior Steelheads.

To be honest, I was a little disappointed that I was getting sent down to play at the Tier III level at first. But I quickly learned what the Idaho Junior Steelheads had to offer, and I realized it was a first-class team, with amazing coaches and staff, and unmatched facilities. Once I started to play consistently, my confidence and knowledge of the game skyrocketed. I was getting a lot of individual attention from the coaches, something I needed and something I wasn't getting at my previous stops during the year, and it helped me so much. The practices were fast-paced; the coaches didn't accept anything but everyone's hardest work every practice. I'm very happy that I ended up in Boise, and it taught me that sometimes you learn the most and have the best experience where you least expect it.

This whole year went by so fast. I really can't believe it's already over. But it's been an eye-opening experience and an amazing learning experience for me. Sometimes I look back and wish that I had done well enough in Bismarck to stay there the whole year, but then I realize that I wouldn't have learned as much as I did if everything went smoothly. Struggling through this first year of juniors has made me understand better what it takes to play hockey at a high level, or do anything at a high level for that matter; it's a competitive world out there, and nothing ever comes easy. I had to work for all of my accomplishments this year, but I'm proud of the lessons I've learned and the strides I've made in one very short year. Now, I have some decisions to make about next year, and I have a lot of work still to do this summer to give myself the best opportunity to succeed next year.

Focus on My Successes

My mind has been swirling for the past few days, ever since our season ended. I'm trying to think everything through--what I want to do next year, what I need to do this summer, what I want to study when I go to college--and that's not being fair to myself. I know it's important to think these things through, but I'm definitely over thinking everything and wigging myself out. The season has been over for less than a week, and I need to take some time to celebrate the successes I had this year. I've been through a lot this past year, but I ended up having a great season. And I need to be proud of my accomplishments and proud of the strides that I took during the season.

Good to Be Home

I needed a nice 11 hour cross-country drive by myself to just think. It was good for me after a stressful, but fun few weeks where it was pretty much nonstop action all the time. But now I'm home. And I'm excited to be here and relax for a few days.

Back to the CO Today

I'm driving back to Colorado today! We had our exit meetings with Coach yesterday, and the end of the year banquet was last night. It's hard to believe the season's over; it went by so fast. In reality, though, it was almost like I had 3 short seasons: one in Bismarck, one in Rio Rancho, and one in Boise. But I'm excited for this summer. Now it's time to start planning out this summer and make plans for next year because I have some decisions to make. I'm going to take a week or two off from hockey, just to give my body and mind a break, but then I have to get back to work and make sure I'm ready for next year. See you soon, Colorado!

Thoughts After Nationals

Well, that was definitely a crazy weekend. Just an amazing experience. I've never been in a national tournament like that, and it was a lot of fun. It was just so cool being involved in the tournament. It's something I will never forget. There were 12 teams from 5 different leagues across the country. The whole event was awesome. We got there on Thursday and had a practice. Pretty much every team in the tournament practiced on Thursday, and I could feel the anticipation for the start of the tournament in all the teams I watched practice. There were teams sitting in the stands, watching other teams practice, which kind of put a little pressure on the team on the ice to look good and not mess up. There was just a lot of anticipation in the rink when we walked in on Thursday, and I could sense it building as the games on Friday got closer.

We had a meeting on Thursday night about our goals for the weekend and our coaches reiterated that when we play to our potential, no team in the country can hang with us, and if we wanted to be successful in this tournament, we had to play to our potential every game because we were going to play teams as good or better than us. You don't get many chances to play for a national title in your lifetime, and we wanted to make sure that we could look back on this weekend with no regrets. Our game on Friday finally came. We played the Seattle Totems out of the NORPAC league. We played an awesome 1st period, but their goalie kept them in the game. The score was 0-0 after 1. Then, things sort of went downhill from the first period. We started taking penalties and got away from our game. Still, we went into the 3rd period with a 2-1 lead. We had some mental breakdowns in our defensive zone in the 3rd period, and they tied it up on the powerplay. We ended up tying the game 2-2. It was a disappointment for us, but fortunately we still had our destiny in our hands. If we won our next two games, we'd be in the semifinals.

On Friday night and all of Saturday, tensions were running high and everyone was focused. We knew we needed a win on Saturday against the Hudson Crusaders or our tournament and season would be over. Again, we reiterated that we needed to come out and play a full 60 minutes. We knew we were the better team and the favorite against Hudson, but we also knew that Hudson could be dangerous because they were angry after losing the night before 10-2, and we knew they were going to come out with their best game against us. They played hard and actually had the momentum in the first 5 minutes of the game. They took a 1-0 lead right away. But we stuck to our game plan, and eventually pucks started bouncing our way. We did not play our best game, but we still wound up winning the game 4-1. It was definitely a relief; however, we knew that our biggest, most important game was still to come, the next day against the St. Louis Jr. Blues, the reigning national champions from last year.

We knew we had to play our best game against a very talented St. Louis team, but we also knew what kind of game we had to play to beat them, and we were mentally prepared to do what it took to win a game like that. We brought our physical game on Sunday night and pretty much ran St. Louis out of the building. I think they were shocked. Honestly, that was one of the cockiest teams I've ever played against, and it felt really good to beat them like we did, 6-1. They were trash talking before the game, and their whole team disrespectfully sung the national anthem before the puck drop. I think those things really motivated us to play our best; that and the fact that we wanted so badly to make it to the semifinals and show what kind of team we could be when we played our best hockey. We constantly got under St. Louis's skin and dominated the game. We stuck to our system and played hard defense. They barely got 15 shots. After the game, our coach told us that was one of the best games he's ever seen a team play. We made a statement, and we showed how good we could be. It felt so good to qualify for the semifinals, I can't even tell you, but we were still hungry for more. On the bus ride back to the hotel, we found out we would be playing El Paso again, the winners of their pool.

We did not want to let El Paso, a team in our league who we had showed superiority over in the Thorne Cup series, end our season. We had swept them the weekend before, and we went in with confidence and also a little fear. Our season was on the line, and we knew we had to play our best to win. We did give our best, but I don't think we played our best game. Unfortunately, it's harder to prepare for a game when you just beat a team you have to play, as opposed to preparing for a game against a team you just lost to. They had a little more vengeance on their minds. They out-played us in the first period, and took a 1-0 lead into the locker room. But after the first period, we started to play more of our game. The bounces really did not go our way in this game. El Paso's goalie played the game of his life. We were down 2-0 in the third period, and we started throwing everything we had at El Paso, trying to get one past the goalie to open the floodgates. Finally, with about 6 minutes left we scored one, and from then on we completely dominated the period. Overall, we outshot them 45-21 in the game; in the 3rd period alone, we outshot them 22-3. We lost the game 2-1. There was such a bitter taste in my mouth after the game. So many "What If's" were running through my mind. It was a good game, and we gave a good effort, but it wasn't meant to be. Our coach told us after the game that sometimes your best isn't good enough. That's the game of hockey. He said everyone in the rink knew we were the better team, but things didn't necessarily go our way. We got our 3rd place medals. But we didn't hang our heads. We had a great season and nothing could take that away from us.

What a great experience to play in a national tournament. Just another thing I can cross off on my list of accomplishments this season. We took 3rd place and took a big step for our league and this organization. I don't think I, personally, played my best hockey in this tournament, though. I played well, but I don't think I played my best. I was nervous, understandably, but the bottom line is that I shouldn't be ashamed of how I played. It was a great experience, an experience that will only help me as I continue to improve. It's all about gaining experience and learning. And coming up a little short like we did this year just makes me hungrier to be the best I can be next year.

And we're just pulling into Boise now. It's been about a 27 hour bus drive. One of these days I'm going to go back and look at how much time I've spent on a bus this year.

We're on our way back to Boise now. I guess it's about a 26 hour drive...It's hard to believe this season's over. I've accomplished a lot in the past year, and it hasn't really sunk in yet that it's over. But now I can start to focus on next year and what I have to do this summer to make sure I have a successful season next year. This year's been a crazy experience, but I've loved it, and I'm hungry to do better next year. Once I get back to my computer, I'll write more about our weekend at nationals. But right now we have about 25 1/2 hours left on the bus, so I'm going to get some sleep.

Well...we lost tonight 2 to 1 in the national semifinals. It was a good run and an unforgettable season for me. I never thought I'd end up playing in Boise, Idaho this year, but everything happens for a reason, and I can honestly say I'm very happy with how the second half of my season went with the Junior Steelheads. If I learned anything this year, I learned that sometimes things don't go your way. I think it was pretty obvious that we were the better team tonight, outshooting El Paso 45-21 through the game, but sometimes you run into a hot goalie. And those things happen. Nothing can take away from the season we had as a team or the season I had individually, though. I'll never forget my first year of junior hockey.