It Takes a Weird Person to be a High-Level Athlete

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds. Explore." -Mark Twain

Recently, I've been having some major conflicts in my head about whether or not I made the right decision to play junior hockey. I think it's been hard for me because I went from playing hockey every day for 7 months to sitting around at home, with too much time on my hands to just think. When I think, I tend to think too much about every little detail of the past and the future, but I spend too little time thinking about the present, which is really the only time that matters. I just read a picture book called "Run With Your Dreams," and inside it says, "To be a winner profit from the past, live in the present and look to the future; living a continuous positive cycle. Remember: you are who you are today." I shouldn't worry about the past or the future. I just need to live in the present because this is the only time in my life that I will have the chance to do what I am doing. There was a 2 year window of opportunity for me--one year which is already done--but I need to live in the present and look forward to next year, not worry about things I can't control. That's just silly and a waste of energy. I should be proud that I'm doing something unique, not worried that I will graduate 2 years after other kids my age. I'm learning valuable lessons that I will be able to draw from for the rest of my life. And I understand that there are a lot of other kids out there who are nowhere near as motivated as I am, that they are in college just to be in college. But I'm chasing a dream. It took a lot of courage to do what I am doing, and I know there are a lot of doubters out there, but I'm confident I am doing what I want to do, and I'm confident I chose the right path. I'm having a lot of fun pushing myself to the limit, learning about myself and life, and learning about the game of hockey.

I think it's natural for me to have thoughts like this, especially after such a long, hard season. I think a lot of junior hockey players go through the same thing. I guess it's part of the process. I remember the St. Cloud State assistant coach telling us earlier this year that junior hockey tends to weed out the players who don't really love hockey. And I love hockey, so I'm going to keep going after my dream and keep giving 100% to reach my goals.

I also remember, earlier on in the year, our athletic trainer in Bismarck told us that it takes a really weird person to be an athlete at a high level. I didn't really understand why when he told us that. After one year of junior hockey, I know why. I just did the math and calculated that I drove approximately 22,039 miles this year on bus trips and cross-country drives, and I spent approximately 347 hours and 45 minutes on buses or in my car, according to Google Maps. 347 hours is about 14 and a half days!! I spent 2 weeks just on a bus or in my car. I don't want to even calculate--nor could I even calculate--the time I spent on the ice this year. But I was on the ice pretty much every day for 7 months! Ahh the life of a junior hockey player!