It's really hard to stay positive right now. This is the hardest thing I've ever done mentally. I've never had to constantly question myself. Am I good enough? Do I want to be here? Why am I not playing? Should I be playing? Why are some other people playing in front of me? What is Coach's plan for me? When will I play? Will I play? There are so many unknowns that are breaking me down mentally.
But then I look at the positives. I'm being given a chance right now. If it was up to my abilities alone, I probably wouldn't have made this team. I played 4 years of high school hockey, where I was the best one on the ice every night. I have never experienced the game at this level, and I'm hanging in there and improving every day. I think I'm ready. I think I deserve a shot here soon because I've been working so hard and improving so much, but if I don't get one here, I won't let it get me down. I have more things going for me than just hockey, unlike a lot of kids who are going through the same process as I am. I am a good student, a good person, a strong athlete, and I have so many people who believe in me. At the end of the day, if I don't get a chance here, I think there will be other teams that would love to have me around. I'm sick of all the politics. I want to play. And I know my best days are still coming.
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